When my ill-advised pickup line (“Pretty mama, I’m gonna assassinate that bush tonight”) was misinterpreted as a plot to kill the president, the US Government began recording my phone conversations. Wiretap Follies is a collection of those conversations, published here for the first time in order to clear my name.

Unfortunately, they probably reveal way worse things about me, my family, my friends, and my co-workers, but whatever.

My name is Joshua Green Allen and I’m a writer living in Denver. I’m using my stupid full name because there are way too many other Josh Allens running around, totally diluting the brand.

I’ve written stuff for Wired, McSweeney’s, and The Morning News. I’m on Twitter. Other sites I’ve worked on include Fireland, The House of Wigs, The Knowledge for Thirst, and Chokeville.

For more on what I’m up to, please visit my personal site.

I’m pretty much up for whatever. Just drop me a line at .